conversations with roger & alex

Today was my last day of undergrand, and while I have neglected you mr. tumblr I think its about time to give you up. I have blogged for many years now about my misfortunate mishaps, and fruitless quests of love. I’ve gone through diaries, live journals, and xangas. However, I admit mr. tumblr you were the most artistic, the blog with most depth, laughs, and feelings. 

I learned a lot in college. I grew into myself. I figured out how to be the happiest, and where to find a happy medium. I learned I am extreme. I learned I don’t follow the rules. I learned I work hard, but I also get tired easily. I pushed myself these four years, and accomplished just about everything I wanted too. The only thing I didn’t achieve well… I ended up never trying for, but who needs blue key?

Can we remember freshmen year? My Phi Tau boys introduced me to the college frat life, but it was ZBT that really rocked my world. It sounds ridiculous, but my old stomping grounds really makes me smile. Mr. Big you took up half my blog, ruined my life, forced me to get up on my feet to spite you, and made me smile so many times. You’re an idiot, but I love coming back to Tally. You’re not that much of an asshole now, and I’m glad we’re friends for the ages. I’ll send you one of those invitations to my wedding.

I never found soulmate, but I came pretty damn close. I realized who to look for in the future, and who could work for me forever. I also realized in the beginning a love should come easy. It should be passionate, and not forced. A list of the qualities for a potential soulmate doesn’t always pan out to happiness. If you have to convince yourself its not worth it.

The preview man was right who needs hospitality… Good thing I declared my major as telecom and stuck with it. MBA or ISOM I’ll come back for you perhaps… Business minor you ruined my GPA… but I am happy with my Telecommunication Major.

Right now the job outlook doesn’t look the best, but what can you do? I’ve worked hard for four years, and I’m proud of what I created. I feel these things had to happen for me to grow -to bring me back on track. 

I’m really glad I was involved in swimming these four years. Half the time I was too busy for practice, and I could never show the team how much I cared.. but I did, and I do.. I am truly okay with missing my senior banquet, and our last date function for nationals this year. Serving as the teams president, and being there for them last weekend made it all worth it.

While Cicerones didn’t pan out to be everything I dreamed, it still gave me the opportunity to give tours. I love this school. I love being an ambassador for this school. The one summer I spent at UF really bonded me with Cicerones, but unfortunately in the school year I can’t dedicate myself to one thing. However, I am not trying to give Cicerones a bad wrap. Sammy is a great mentor, and while I am horrible at keeping in touch I am so proud I am hers. Cicerones found me mentee, and I cannot thank them enough for that. He is integral to my college memories, and I truly wish him the best. I am also happy we are leaving a beautiful latin lady who I can come back to these next two years.

 I am a huge advocate for joining a sorority if you feel you fit in with those prospective ladies. As an out of stater gator I knew no one, and that was perfectly okay. I’ve made real girlfriends. Learned to recognize what real friendships are, and found my damn bridesmaids. Roll your eyes sorority-whore-hater, but I am a full supporter of the Greek system. 

Greek life also lead me to find my dear, and darling Pequena. This lady, who wanted nothing to do with me when I first claimed her as mine, has  been a godsend. She has helped me through countless tragedies, and has always been by my side. I hope to scuba with her at least once every year.

To my roommates of the past four years. Did you realize that all four of you were part of my crazy dorm room surgery? I love all of you, and I think its funny how differently all our roads in college went. Oh, and Dirty D this is your shout out.. I hate to admit this… but I think.. yes.

I love you.

Now, I realize I no longer have time for these heartfelt stories. The blog names, and recaps of my crazy nights. Frankly, I should not be having any of these things happen anymore. Undergrad is undergrad, and I am over not remembering if I spoke to you the night before. 

Thanks for the memories. Goodbye Mr. Tumblr. 

Possibly just gave my last tour ever. It has been an honor to give tours at this amazing university and my favorite part about being Florida Cicerone.

love

Dear Wilson,
You’re laying at my feet annoyed I won’t turn off this computer and go to bed.   Sorry, I want to play waste time instead of sleeping. I just wanted to let you know I have fallen in love with you. I have never felt so strong about something that is mine. You’re literally my responsibility and I love you unconditionally. I also feel like a freak writing about you, but today holding you in my arms as your face blew against the miami wind made me realize how much I love you. You little idiot that doesn’t know cool tricks because mummy is an idiot.

Thank you for being my unconditional companion. Its only been 4 months, but   you’re really growing on me..

we be jammin to cancun tomorrow. meow meow

(via yokhakidfiasco)

nevver:

R. W. Emerson

Call me lame or call me creepy, but this made me think of you.
Hope you like it… but then again you didn’t like my year old boarding pass…

No silly, but you are here…. and maybe I’ll be in Destin!!
Thank you OSK for the best senior prom ever <3 
It’s truly a blessing seeing you.

Dis been being my motto all year so far.

“I’ll be the best or nothing at all.” 

She is so good…

Hello Tumblr World Eli is back!

I doubt I am going to use tumblr a lot anymore… I just don’t get how its March and I have yet to give to you a sold post. Can you imagine there would come a day when I would be too busy for tumblr? 

Sorry I missed your third birthday tumblr.
I also never finished my what I learned in a year post.
All I want to back track on is how happy I am that the high school bros, and I are back and greater than ever. Everything has fallen into place with home, and I am so very grateful.

Only thing that annoys me is Slinder some how forgot we were actually friends or acquaintances this summer and some of fall.  He imagines I must of pulled out of a hat any recollection of conversations throughout summer or plans of a visit. I hate to break it to you, but what happend did honestly massively change your attitude towards me. This is the third year you refused to wish me happy birthday. I hope you realize I only let the whole situation go whenever we are on good terms. Its a shame, fighting only fuels the fire.

 Regardless of everything, I believe time and more time will fix it. I will wait until we can be civil, and speak once in a blue moon. Notice, I have finally stopped asking for friendship? May you be the happiest sir. 

Quick Recap on life:

My 22 birthday weekend was glorious. Shout out to club 22 for making it da best!

I love Wilson.

No one had ever caused me more anxiety or hive outbreaks in my life than oldbestfriend. Actually, no one has ever made me break out into hives… I am still wishing you nothing, but the best. However, it perplexes me why running into you or hearing about you causes my insides so much fear and anxiety. Everyone tells me to get over it. I just pray for his well being.

I had a fantastic weekend with the swim team! We killed GSU and friends. We definitely bonded nicely.

I applied for my first jobs today. Hopefully things work out…. I am applying to Google, and all over for news reporter jobs.

Characters Chosen and I have a baby arango.
She is the tango!

Lastly, I’m going to Cancun in less than 7 days!!!! 

(via givemeaclassykiss)

The military life or the lawyers wife.

(via itsbeautyandfashion)

I’m so nervous, my heart is pounding, and that slow feeling of sadness for you is taking over again. I only talk about it sometimes. I pretend not to care. I talk about it light heartedly, but I know my friends see through it. Friday, it made me really upset, seeing you again, and somehow physically feeling so sad for you. I can feel all the hate, and bitterness. Its something to be expected, and I’m not complaining. I deserve it. I just can’t believe the overwhelming sadness that comes over me for you. I don’t care if you’ve said things no bother. I’ll never be mad portray me in any way. Just the two times I’ve seen you has brought such a vivid sadness over me for you. I just want you to be happy, and better all at once. I’m not that person, but I wish more than anything in the world that you find that person. I know it takes months, sometimes years for the pain to go away, and I pray something comes your way to help ease a little of it. 

Lets just say I’m anxious.

(via silentcerulean)

And so it begins… What I learned in 2012

I learned twice is nice. We rang in the new year the best way I knew how… We may have been working, but at least we made it out for the ball drop. We could hear Lady Gaga in the background. 

My Resolutions from 2012:

1. Not be so late all the time FOR EVERYTHING… we’ll work on it - Lasted about 3 weeks
2. Drink Water I bought an app.. all it does is tell me to drink water.. maybe this year?
3. Only order one slice not two at pizza by the slice  I kind of stopped doing this! I don’t get pizza that much anymore
4. Do something for exercise at least twice a week whether its swimming or five minute abs just make sure its something Can we remember to do this next year? I think I forgot as soon as I wrote this…
5. Accomplish what necessary today first there is no next time I might have forgotten this too… maybe I should write them on my wall…
6. listen to your gut feeling and darbys advice I should listen to my gut more…
7. REACH FOR THE STARS never settle for less when it comes to your career or future I didn’t settle and I reached for the stars!! Declined ABC sports and got CNN!!!
8. sleeping if more important than the internet so sleep more and stop being lazy I think I sleep more…
9. Be a strong secure happy and optimistic person I became much happier that spring semester and overall this year
10. Don’t go searching for soulmate Oh, I stopped searching alright.

11. Names - for the next year too

12. Lotion - yeah I’ll put on lotion this year too..

I learned you really mess up a friendship when you involve sex.

I learned grad school with undergrand is ridiculous especially when you are involved in one hundred million things. 

I learned that taking a leap of faith and visiting an old friend can be the most rewarding experience.

        Walking out of the terminal into your car was the strangest thing -for about ten seconds. You took my breath away at thirteen, and again at twenty.

I learned that if they were your best friends then they’ll still be your best friends now.

I learned that maybe your middle school crush has sound advice.
     I literally found characterschosen two days after coming back, and stopping my search for soulmate. 

I learned that its not safe to keep your plastic pet bird on your 21st birthday sign
   R.I.P Charles Bird
I had the greatest girlfriends for my twenty first birthday… even the best friend from 4th grade was there to document the whole thing!
Mr. Big came!!

He was still an asshole.

He even showed up at the southern most point during spring 2012.
 I still slept with him both times.

but thankfully for the last time in 2012…

I learned that yes, you can find someone who will sing the ‘light my candle’ duet… and not be gay.

 

I fell madly in love with my boyfriend, and mentee Characterchosen. March was a happy month. I had the least posts this month than any other for the year. Things were turning out to be so much better than fall of 2011. I think the time you sang ’ So Close’ to me on our drive home really did it.

I learned that you can combine the most cliche talents into the funniest talents.

I am happy to say I performed in the 2012 Miss Greek Pageant, and probably would have won if it weren’t 60% fundraising….

I wanted desperately for you to not be somebody that I used to know.

I learned that you should never not really sleep for 3 days and drive to Tallahassee and back  in one night for your best friends birthday.

APRIL 12th

“A PHRASE BEGAN TO BEAT IN MY EARS WITH A SORT OF HEADY EXCITEMENT. THERE ARE ONLY THE PURSUED, THE PURSUING, THE BUSY, AND THE TIRED.”

The Great Gatsby - Scott Fitzgerald 

I learned its very easy to ruin your boyfriend’s formal when you have other beings lurking in your subconscious.

I learned that sometimes its okay to go with your gut feeling, and  run for president at the last minute.

I learned that even the biggest dreams can become a reality.

May was my most perplexing month -Forty-eight posts. 

I learned that sometimes soon might be too soon to meet the family.

I learned that I will always swoon for duel… until of course he turns cold.

I learned that you can go to a horse race… and not see a thing.

MAY 25

I learned I could paint a turtle.

MAY 29

I learned that I will always be hard for hardfornpr’s friendship

JUNE 2

The letter to understand me…

I learned its hard to keep a slippery slope straight.

JUNE 6

Here I am in thr Bathroom of buca finishing this post … I’ll fix it tomorrow…. Typical. I learned that hanging out with your best friend is not the best thing when you have a boyfriend I learned that Yolo is not always the answer I learned that getting a dog is a good idea I learned your high school friends can actually grow up Overall I was a lot happier this year.. let’s do this 2013!!!